Hey, Ogre, I Arrarrarraarararrararrrar You

A couple of posts ago I wrote about the radness that is Surly's forthcoming Krampus, and I couldn't help comparing it to my Surly Ogre. I want to take some time here to direct some praise toward the Ogre, which I haven't really mentioned it in print since the day I bought it, though I say at least once per ride, "I sure do arrarrarraarararrararrrar this bike."

This bike is amazing. It does exactly what I want it to do. Every time. Even with a bald rear tire it rarely spins out. It doesn't matter to me, really, what features a bike has or doesn't have as long as that bike does exactly what you want it to do. I've ridden fancier bikes, but never a more responsive, agile 29er hardtail.

Could it be lighter? I don't care. There are surely lighter frames out there, and those frames might get me to the top of a long climb ten seconds faster, but I don't think the difference would be such that I could at any one point during that climb say that other frame had outperformed the Ogre.

There was a brief time when I was riding this bike with a rigid fork and a terrible wheel set, and even that experience--on one of the front range's rockiest trials--was so good that I said something stupid about not putting any suspension on it ever, which led a good friend of mine to slap me in the face. Hard. It was the first time I've been slapped. I don't know what to say about it. As you can see, there is a suspension fork on the bike.

In other bike news, Rebecca just got a new Tallboy. I've tried to get a picture of her riding it, but they all come out looking like this:

She's much faster than she used to be, and I'm now afraid she's regularly going to chick me when we ride, which is scary because I promised her that each time she chicked me I'd get a tattoo. At this rate, that day is not far off. In fact, this being election season, let's take a vote. Each time my wife chicks me on a mountain bike climb, which of the following tattoos should I get?

Candidate A:

Candidate B:

Candidate C:

Candidate D:

Log your votes in the comments section. Voter fraud is encouraged.

Finally, I will be out of town for a while for Professional Development Days. Hey, we couldn't call it Drinking in the Desert Days. I'll report upon return.