It's Okay to Acknowledge a Salesperson

You enter a retail establishment. This is key. The retail establishment does not sneak up behind and engulf you. You open a door and move your feet in such a way that your body is propelled into the establishment. The people who work there--there's a good chance that they spend more waking hours inside of that retail establishment than they spend at home, so you've willingly entered a space that is their adopted home. 

Now, we've all had experiences that make us wary of sales people. Yes, it does seem--in this age of sponsored face tattoos--that we are ceaselessly being pressured to buy. How long will it be before Colgate will offer free dental work for life in exchange for etching their logo onto your incisor? However, I work in a store that is 250 square feet. If you come in and I don't say hi to you, it's going to be weird. Please don't completely ignore me and make it weirder. Really, I have no place to hide. The "Hello" that I uttered is just going to hang there, limp as a dropped chain.

It's okay to say hi. Saying hi to me won't make me latch vampirically onto your wallet. Believe it or not, I want to help you improve the quality of your life. 

So here's a quick lesson called 'How to Say Hi to a Salesperson.' If you're an advanced shopper, feel free to skip the introductory lesson and go right on to more advanced lessons like 'How to Tell a Salesperson He has Spinach in His Teeth' and 'Don't Talk to Me; I'm Here to Shoplift.'

How to Say Hi to a Salesperson

The salesperson will notice you entering the retail establishment. They will say one of the following:

"Hi."

"Hello."

"Hi there."

Here's your part. You say:

"Hi."

Once you have this mastered, and are feeling more confident, you can try things like:

"Howdy."

"Good day."

"Salutations."

Most likely the salesperson will want to know how they can help you. They will let you know this is their intention by saying, "How can I help you?" It is okay to tell them. It's likely they will be able to locate the 26" mountain bike tube entire minutes before you could find it yourself, thus sparing you needless frustration and saving you time, and as we all know, time is money. Actually, they are two separate periodicals entirely.

Extra credit: include a high-five in your greeting.

Join us again for next week's lesson 'This Expensive Thingy Must be on Display for Me to Poke.'