Mayhem

Mayhem

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Dear Mom,

No matter how frequently I tell you I am very careful when I ride and take all possible safety precautions, I think you still worry about me. So here are some pictures that, I hope, will put your mind at ease.

Here I am wearing my helmet. 




As you can see, the helmet is relatively new, which is good because helmets have a shelf-life of about three years.


Incidentally, I've never seen your bicycle helmet.


Here is the ID bracelet that you gave me for Christmas.



I wear this so that in case there's an accident, the EMT's will know to whom the disembodied arm belonged. Also, the wristband protects my wrist from skin cancer.

You may worry that I don't feed myself enough on rides, but here you can see me eating an entire elk. Elk are great snacks because they just walk into your mouth.


And yes, just like I did in elementary school, I ride around with my backpack unzipped. Also note that I am wearing protective eyewear. I always wear protective eyewear when I ride because sometimes elk will try to walk into your eyeballs.

The picture doesn't make it obvious, but before the ride I ate plenty of sunscreen, 45 SPF.

You may worry that I don't represent the right causes when I ride. Everybody is pinning ribbons to their jerseys or wearing wristbands of all colors to support disease research or Smurf awareness. I wear a pizza awareness ribbon that I made myself.



If you are worried that I am not eating enough dust, observe.

Hey Rebecca, can I

take your picture

(cough)?



I hope all of this alleviates some of your concern.

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