Saturday, March 24, 2012

Let's Add Insult

Well, it seems as though I've injured myself in such a way that I'll spend a lot of time lying down these next few days. However, I recognize how important this blog is to you, and smack me upside the head with a hot halibut if an injury keeps me from posting every last detail of my life on the internet.

Speaking of posting every last detail of my life on the internet, here are some quality photos I've taken for you during my injury and subsequent horizontal comportment. Here's the outdoor cafe where I ate lunch.

Here's my desk at work.

I like to keep the bathroom at work clean. I think you'll be impressed.

So, how was injured? Did it happen when I climbed up in a tree that was growing into the power lines in order to incrementally cut it down with an 18" metal handsaw? No. Did it happen when I went on a mountain bike ride at night in mountain lion country with my pockets full of the copious delicious snacks that I require pretty much constantly? No. (Incidentally, I've known some hikers and bikers who carry pepper spray as protection from predators, but were I a predator, pepper with my steak would be an incentive). (Also incidentally, this second event didn't even strike me as a bad idea until I crested a ridge while poking fistfuls of steak-flavored M&Ms into my mouth and my headlight lit up a couple of eyes out there in the bushes). Did it happen when I thought, "Hmmm, my back hurts. Maybe I should skip this mountain bike ride," but then went anyway? Did it happen when I thought, "I'll just go real slow and turn around if anything starts to hurt," but then attacked that effing mountain with every effing thing I had? Of course not.

My dog enjoys having me on the floor with him, as forehead licking is one of his pastimes. Here's a picture of my dog.

So I'm wondering what happens in our brains when we are able to overcome the presence of actual facts in favor of compulsion. I think it is what we call "optimistic thinking." I fall prey to this kind of thinking all of the time. Right now, for example.

It's easy, when not thinking optimistically, to think pessimistically, which is worse, because it makes you want to spend the day lying in mud puddles while playing Taps on your kazoo. I've spent enough time being pessimistic to know it is not for me. What I'd like to learn to do is avoid optimistic thinking so that I can make poor choices based on facts instead of theories. I'd ruminate on this idea further, but I need to stop writing because I have a stool and a canister of oatmeal on which to balance it so I can climb up to that beer. 'Scuze me.

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